60 The Re-re-re-launch

Take good care of  your body, its the only place you have to live.

-Jim Rohn

This quote and the other favorite by Karen Lamb will most likely be used interchangeable more often in the coming year, I have to keep them in mind to keep my resolve.  I will most likely add quotes of motivation because that is an issue when attempting the 100 days projects.  It is the end of the year and I would love to say that I have succeeded in all that I had endeavored to do in 2015 but I can’t.  Overall I am happy to be alive and I have not given up on myself.    I refuse to wallow in melancholy; it is one of my goals to no longer post essays of failure.  It is impossible not to mention setbacks, however there will be no whining about “reasons” or other complaints of life.  With those words stated, it is safe to say that I have written and posted several essays with limited words of failure. I hope that sentence made sense. 

It is now the last day of the year.  I had plans to post on all the website/blogs but only 100 days and the flagship were able to post an essay.    The real life and internet life clashing again.  I spent a week in the hospital with my mom.  It threw my scattered schedule of writing off and changing this is one of the many goals I will be altering.  Positive lifestyle change is my overall goal for 2016 100-days project; the side effect will be efficient activities, tasks, weight loss, improved health/wellness and a great sense of accomplishment.  The project will begin on January 3^rd 2016 and end on April 9^th, 2016; It is a little bit over three months and short fourteen weeks.  It has been said that it takes 28 days to for a habit.  Hopefully by the end of this project I will have three new positive habits that will improve my life.  The woman in the picture above has a lot to answer too.   It is time for results and in this particular case positive results. 

Allons-y!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!!!

59

If you do not tell the truth about yourself

you cannot tell it about other people. 

-Virginia Woolf 

The month of November was supposed to be the beginning of the next 100 days project.  I have postponed it until next year. The holidays are the worst time of year to change a lifestyle.  There is so much to do and so much to plan. There is also the feels; emotions runs high, overwhelm people in good and bad ways.   I wanted to be on a better life schedule before the holidays.  It got snagged by the little things and they became bigger things.   I decided it will be better for my wellbeing to be honest about what I want to accomplish with the 100 days project. 

First I want to live heathier and lose weight.  According to information on many health websites and magazines. I am dangerously obese.   I am under 5 feet in height and over 200lbs in weight.  I borderline on hypertension and diabetes.  I have to handle the situation now before it gets worse.  Losing weight is a good start but it is my whole lifestyle that is causing the problem. I hate having to mention all of this on an essay.  Other people have bared all and worst on the internet but I am not that kind of person and I never wanted to be.   I want my online life and real life to work together.  I don’t believe that everything has to be online. Some things need to be forgotten or only remembered by a few.

My life is complicated and unhealthy it is not good for me to continue this way.  I know this and everyone is telling me this.  It can trigger a certain kind of bad habit on my part, I get belligerent.  No has to tell me what is wrong with me when I know and live with it every day. 

Second I am a writer.  I want to complete works of fiction, sell them and live comfortably.  I have always told myself stories.  I decided to be a writer over 25 years ago. I didn’t pursue it because I was often told.  Have something to fall back on.  I was so busy with my day job that I almost lost my way to creativity.  Two years ago, after reading and listening to some great and some really bad works of fiction. I decided to do what I have always wanted to. I want to write and sell fiction. I want to entertain and inspire others to do great things.  I want to be recognized by the world as a writer.  I have gotten positive feedback from some of my work being made public.  So I will do my best to make my brand. 

Third my environment is always in disarray.  It is basically a downer.  I know that the only way it can change is if I change it.  After dealing with familial things I don’t have the energy to make my environment efficient.  I don’t have the motivation to do what has to be done.  It is a super lame excuse but there it is.  That is one of my many ugly truths. 

Last I want to be comfortable in the life that I am living.  I don’t want regrets and I don’t want to feel like all I am doing is existing.  I need 30 days to be make myself glad to be up in the day; another 30 days to follow an exercise regimen; another 30 days to make my environment efficient and 10 days to make a schedule and stick to.  No pressure. 

14 Weeks Ago

Brutal Honesty

A year from Now you may wish

You had started Today

-Karen Lamb

 This  how I feel. The truly shitty part is that I did it to myself.   Despite the title, it has been two weeks since the end of the last 100 days cycle.  It was a miserable failure, my lifestyle took a staggering fall back.  My well-being is meh.  All my positive expressions are gone. I got a bad habit lifestyle and it is hard to break. The only upside is that I see it when it is happening.  These days, I can adjust. I know I can’t do cold turkey.  I get belligerent when reminded or told about poor health choices.  It makes me, my own worst enemy. 

So I examined myself as much as I could without cringing.  Since erasing myself and redrawing my body and house is not an option.  I make a plan.   I do everything in my power to stick to that plan.  I also keep to the project going.  

In November, many writers and writer-wannabes are going to start the national novel writing month (nanowrimo), instead of doing this I will be working on my own damn novel and other writing projects. I will also begin the 100 days again.  

I am breaking my personal writing rules.