Motivation

The online services and apps I mention are not endorsements.

I am only talking about them as they affect me.

Despite my grand declarations I still haven’t gotten the kinks out of the plan yet. So we are still on blocks.  This is one of the many problems of lifestyle change.   One problem is the scheduling.  When to do what and how? Another problem for me is the chronicling here on this blog.  I am attempting to write and post daily so when project 20 starts officially I will be in the habit. This is process is frustrating because I am also attempting to keep to a word count challenge.  I have been able to successfully post two entries, one that was timed.  I am especially happy about that one, because it give me time to work.  I always knew that a post could be scheduled but I just didn’t us the app.  I don’t have any excuse except I didn’t think I would ever need it.   There is a lesson in that, I haven’t found it yet but maybe I will later, stay tuned for that post.

I typed that I will be joining the daily challenge (DC) by MeYou health and the Gym Box.   In the daily challenge I am part of the balanced diet track; for the next month or 28 challenges will be about healthy food choices.   I just realized I typed the hated d-word. I don’t know any other word to explain what I will be doing with my food.  I not planning on only losing weight although that is a part of the lifestyle change.  I am thinking about my overall well-being.  That means my body, my mind, my spirit, my family, my environment; all these aspects that makes up my life.  All these aspects affect me for good and bad. I make decision good and bad because of these aspects.  So I need to approach each one at a given time. DC gives me fun, simple challenges and the sense of accomplishment once achieved.  A positive action to bolster the day.

I joined the Gym Box for convenience. I don’t have time or money for a gym and I know that I need to add exercise into my lifestyle change.  The Gym Box offers the exercise classes along with an exercise routine plan that is easy to follow.  All these actions are getting four week-trial.  I don’t know what will work and what won’t; putting out the effort is important.  I know I have the bad habit of being a quitter.  I am attempting to curb that.  I know it won’t be easy.   That leads up to my title, Motivation. 

The Bing dictionary defines motivation in these terms: 

•  The  act of giving somebody a reason or incentive to do something
•  ·         A feeling of enthusiasm, interest, or commitment that makes somebody want to do something, or something that causes such a feeling

I agree with both of them.  I struggle with motivation all the time and will be looking for ways to keep it up.  Anything to keep me from copying that top picture.  One of my favorites because it clearly describes me.  It is one of the many factors that has my life in the downward spiral.  Now  I think I am in what some people may call a holding pattern.  I believe that if I keep  talking and typing about these changes and mini epiphanies I will be able to achieve a positive lifestyle change.  

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Daily Dose

This is the best head shot I have ever taken.  It was done with one of my cheapest phones.  I have been happy with it like forever.  The point of this post is to successfully type 300+ words every day for the next 100 days.  It has become a part of the yearly personal challenge started in November 2014 and the launch of the 100 days project XX(20);  Part of the plan is to chronicle the changes.  Not quite sure if this the correct number, but I like it.  It is even and pretty close since I came up with the idea of using the 100 days.  Everything takes a plan, so I will type what I will be doing.  I have mentioned them before, the daily challenge service by Me You Health.   The company is established in Boston MA.  They have been encouraging people to live, achieve and maintain heathier more fulfilled lives since 2009.  A relative got me hooked through Facebook and for about six months, I was really good at keeping up with the various healthy challenges.  But somewhere I fell off the bandwagon. 

I decided to get back on the wagon with Daily Challenge and Me You Health without Facebook.  I have three reasons, first the challenges are simple; second they have good information; third it is generally fun.  I will also be adding an exercise routine from The Gym Box with Roku.  I have super big TV; I use it mercilessly to watch a whole season of television via Netflix, Hulu and Crackle.   I have been threatening myself for months now about joining the Gym Box.  Instead of just doing the short half routines they have up to entice people into becoming a paying member.    It is ten dollars a month.  I could do worse.  I had an actual gym membership for 8 months and I paid every month and never attended the gym ever.  That was very stupid of me and a colossal waste of money.  With Gym Box I can practice an exercise routine from the convenience of my own home.  Tomorrow I will be typing about motivation.  I am sensing that motivation will be an issue for me.  So I need to face it head on. I know I have other issues I will have to confront.  I will type more about this later. 

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Hard Truths

I am a fat woman.   It is a truth that I normally don’t like to type about.  I don’t like to talk about my exact weight and I don’t like to discuss in detail how I got to be this way and why I don’t necessarily pull myself up by my bootstraps and lose weight.  I am the way I am.  I have good days and bad days.  The positive point is that I am working on changing. 

Usually I like to represent myself with a flower.  A lotus to be exact.  I like the meaning people have applied to the flower so I have borrowed some pictures from Wikipedia and other places.  I use them as my profile pictures on all my social media accounts.  I started to think that maybe I was using flowers instead of my face because of low self-esteem.  So here I am.   Every picture in this post is of me in the last seven years.  I don’t like any of them.  No one has been able to take a nice picture of me in years and I have yet to take a decent selfie.   That is another truth, I haven’t liked any pictures of myself in over seven years.  

I admit I do have esteem issues.  There is a long list, I don’t plan to type it out here no matter how much I want to reach my word count goal.  The point of this blog was to chronicle my healthy lifestyle change. That means identifying the unhealthy, bad habit that encourage the opposite of well-being.   .   I haven’t been able to change completely.  I don’t think I have given it a serious effort.  My post are frequently read like this, I make a promise to change, I break the promise, I type an apology and vow to do better,  I break the vow.   It is a vicious and tedious cycle.  I am very very tired of it and I will like to get off now please.  This is a part of my serious effort.

                       

These pictures of me are for me to face facts.  I like to write positive life affirming post.  I don’t like to type negativity but I do a lot of self-deprecation stuff.  I love to type ‘knowing is half the battle’ because I came from the generation of the GI Joe PSA and once upon a time I was also under the evil impression that knowing was good enough.  Knowing was like fixing the problem already.  Any adult will tell that knowing is nowhere near the battle and sadly I think I have mentioned it before.  Debunking my childhood saying was supposed to be a line I had crossed; a trial the moves me to a different level of something.  With a heavy sigh, I will type some more truths.  These are actual facts.  I had a weight problem before I had weight problem.  I always thought of myself as a fat girl.  There was a time in my life when I wasn’t a fat girl.  I didn’t realize it until I saw an old picture of myself.  So I guess I had a self- perception problem like many girls in the western world.  It took me over ten years to figure that shit out.  That is another phenomena I will have to write about, there is a large number of women in their 30’s and 40’s writing about their misconceptions of their youth.  Again I am in a sea of millions. 

  

I think I lost track of this post.  One more of my truths, I will be struggling with this blog for a while.  I have yet to find a way to explain, life changes, health, weight loss and overall well-being in a positive entertaining inspiring way.   This blog is actually supposed to be a daily blog and if it is can I write 300 words every day about lifestyle change, health, weight loss and overall well-being.  The only way to begin is to start or did I reverse the words.  Meh. 

 

My sister and I have a similar problem we want to be healthy and have not put out the effort.  We have made an unofficial pact with other relatives in the same boat, to be 100lbs less by April.   I have given myself of course 100 days and I am also giving myself a week to prepare.  Some of you may say that is a cop out.  I should have started on Thursday, January 1^st.  Since I just heard about it on December 31^st 2014. I am giving myself time to plan, set an attainable goal.  Just doing or going cold turkey has never worked for me, I regress within day.  

The next 100 days project will begin on Sunday January 11, 2015 and will end on Monday April 20, 2015.  If all goes well, there will be significant change.  I will be typing all kinds of happy buzz of achievement and plans for the future projects.   I am getting all kinds of ideas and hope that I will be able to entertain and enlighten readers those like me or otherwise.  

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